So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
