I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize