I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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