Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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