Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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