3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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