Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
