I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
