I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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