no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
