Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Your dad touched me again.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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