Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The uberlube is also flammable
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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