there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
