Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
