He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
