thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
