Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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