i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
