I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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