living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
