Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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