Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
