no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
