for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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