is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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