I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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