This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Dear god my vagina.
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