I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
