Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
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The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
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We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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