I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
