Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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