her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
