she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
