so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize