you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
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After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
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She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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