He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
