And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
