Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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