We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
