just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
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