I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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