So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism