roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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