rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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