Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out http://tfl.nu/3q0w
  Replies (18) Good night (5313) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Big sunglasses are the new paper bag

  (817): View more from Texas

  ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Big sunglasses are the new paper bag (817): ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex http://tfl.nu/2sef
  Replies (38) Good night (3027) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Do you think there is vodka in heaven?

  (619): View more from California

  you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Do you think there is vodka in heaven? (619): you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity http://tfl.nu/y8gk
  Replies (81) Good night (4181) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower. http://tfl.nu/fhy8
  Replies (8) Good night (678) Bad night (3757)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules. http://tfl.nu/xkjo
  Replies (46) Good night (4480) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious http://tfl.nu/30k1
  Replies (11) Good night (3279) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend http://tfl.nu/4xq5
  Replies (16) Good night (5729) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how. http://tfl.nu/ue8l
  Replies (4) Good night (2254) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home. http://tfl.nu/v69g
  Replies (5) Good night (1629) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  My bed is full of blood and feathers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): My bed is full of blood and feathers http://tfl.nu/0j2w
  Replies (10) Good night (541) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home http://tfl.nu/98yp
  Replies (10) Good night (1262) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again. http://tfl.nu/8fgb
  Replies (0) Good night (789) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises http://tfl.nu/4oct
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis http://tfl.nu/n6jf
  Replies (0) Good night (457) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later. http://tfl.nu/acsz
  Replies (7) Good night (671) Bad night (262)

Randomize