you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.