To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
