Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
