I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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