I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
