Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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