Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
