It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
