It's like God shit irony all over that family
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
