Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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