I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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