I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
