I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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