Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
