He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
