some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
