Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
