I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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