: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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