he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
then he tried to convert me to islam
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
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Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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